


A Whole Year?

by glasswrks



Category: Yentl (1983)
Genre: Angst, F/F, F/M, Unresolved Romantic Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-28
Updated: 2013-09-28
Packaged: 2017-12-27 21:42:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,236
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/983951
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/glasswrks/pseuds/glasswrks
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Yentl forgets an important date. It has humor? Angst, and a hint of romance. Please see secondary author's notes at the end.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> **COPYRIGHT:** June 11th – June 21st, 2012
> 
>  **AUTHOR'S DISCLAIMER:** Let's face it, I don't own "Yentl" or any of the characters, back story, etc. I'm not making a cent from it – if I did, I'd buy a new computer and some other things. The story; along with any original characters are mine though I think; pesky copyright laws.
> 
>  **MOVIE DISCLAIMER:** This story is based upon the 1983 movie, Yentl, which starred Barbra Streisand, Mandy Patinkin and Amy Irving, amongst others. It is based on the short story written by Isaac Bashevis Singer. The movie was co-written by Jack Rosenthal and Barbara Streisand. The United Artist/Barwood production was co-produced by Larry De Waay and Rusty Lemorande. It was produced and directed by Barbra Streisand.
> 
>  **AUTHOR'S NOTE:** This story came to me out of the blue. It's something we'll never see, but it would have been interesting. I had additional notes at the end of the story I hope you'll read as well. Thank you in advance to anyone/everyone who reads the story, let alone comments on it.

* * *

**CHAPTER ONE:** A Mother Knows.

Hadass watched as Anshel and Avigdor walked side by side down the street on their way to the Yeshiva, their heads bent close together as they talked and Anshel with a book in his hand.

She wondered briefly if he would remember what today was.

He was probably too busy with his studies to give this day any more importance then say, the price of fish in the market.

Hadass had asked her parents not to say anything to him. She did not want to embarrass Anshel, in case he had forgotten.

She on the other hand would never forget.

How could she?

Hadass had not wanted to marry Anshel, she hardly knew him.

What little she did know she had heard from Avigdor before their betrothal had been broken.

He would brag about Anshel accomplishments, how brilliant he was.

How Rabbi Zalman was pleased to have Anshel as a student.

How he would have ten answers for one question, "He's gifted," Avigdor once told her, with pride evident in his voice. She could tell he thought of Anshel like a brother.

"Avigdor..." she sighed.

If things had gone according to plan, she would have been celebrating her first year of marriage with him, instead of Anshel.

However, she was not one to question her father's decisions; not openly, although Anshel had. He had tried to make her father understand how much Avigdor loved her. How well suited they were for each other.

But her father would not budge, would not be swayed from his decision.

Hadass wanted to say she had no idea why he fought on Avigdor's behalf, but she was fooling herself. She knew exactly why: he was simply trying to avoid getting married, after all her father had practically thrown her at Anshel.

If anything Anshel was married to his studies.

She had never heard Avigdor mention any woman that had caught Anshel's eye.

"I've never seen anyone more dedicated to learning in my life," Avigdor told her.

She could not imagine Anshel giving up his pursuit of knowledge for love.

And Anshel most assuredly did not love her.

At first, she wasn't sure if he even liked her.

He hardly gave her the time of day. Not that he was ill-mannered to her, he was very polite.

She was just... Hadass, Avigdors' betrothed. She believed he tolerated her presence, not because he wanted to, but because he had to, for Avigdor's sake.

He never went out of his way to speak to her.

He was very quiet and for the most part kept to the background, as if desperately trying not to be noticed, whenever he accompanied Avigdor for supper.

He did such a good job of it, she was sorry to admit that she sometimes forgot he was there.

And he was  _only_  there for Avigdor's sake.

Over time, Hadass could see how close they were. Anshel hung onto every word Avigdor said. He copied his gestures without knowing it. And they were rarely out of each others sight.

So when Anshel had told her that Avigdor had begged him to marry her, she wasn't at all surprised that he agreed.

"I asked him: You love her that much? You would rather I marry her than anyone else? And he answered, "You have to, please." Anshel had looked away; she had seen his eyes grow bright and shiny. "So, I did."

"That was very generous of you Anshel." She had told him softly.

He looked at her for a moment or two before excusing himself and leaving her presence.

Hadass looked at him differently from then on. He was a man of principle; she could appreciate that quality about him. When he said something he meant it. When he told her on their wedding night that he would not force her to do anything she did not want to, he had kept his word.

She was not sure how long that would last.

A man has needs, or so her mother had told her, yet he never once approached her to demand his rights as her husband.

It was a year later and he still kept his word.

She continued to gaze out the window watching as they disappeared from view.

Knowing how busy it was going to get, she went into the kitchen to make preparations for supper.

She had decided to make Anshel's favorites.

He was always grateful whenever she made him something he truly enjoyed. When he thanked her, he was very considerate and she believed him. It did not sound as if he were saying it to be polite.

It was as if he knew how much time was spent in preparing the evening meal. He would comment on the flavors asking her what she had used and nodded as she gave the list of ingredients.

At first it was the only conversations they would have, they hardly spoke to one another, except for routine pleasantries.

They were for all intents and purposes, strangers.

Strangers thrown together in a situation neither of them expected, let alone wanted.

It was not until they had been married for three months when she noticed he came home with a smile on his face and she wanted to know why.

"I'll… I'll tell you during supper, if you really want to know," he said quietly.

"I would Anshel."

"All right."

Later on while they sat at the dinner table, he regaled them with a story about Shimmele and his fondness for sweets. He had purchased one earlier in the day and had not had a chance to taste it. He had left the room and some of the younger students decided to pull a prank.

"Shimmele was beside himself. He could not find it any where; he looked high and low, finally after ten minutes he stopped. He threw his hands up in frustration and sat down," Anshel had said. "When he sat everyone heard a loud popping sound, Shimmele jumped up from the chair as if he had been bit…"

"What happened?" she had asked.

"One of the students next to him had put the bag with the pastry on the chair right as he sat down. The force split it open and Shimmele had filling all over his pants. It was deadly quiet until Rabbi Zalman started laughing. 'It serves you right Shimmele. I've told you not to bring that in here.' He said."

Everyone had laughed afterwards.

"Tell me more," she asked him.

Hadass realized she enjoyed listening to him speak. He would actually hold her gaze, unlike before when he seemed almost frighten to be in the same room with her.

"Hadass… sweetheart…"

"Hmm…"

"Hadass."

"Oh, yes mother, what can I do for you?"

"Are you all right?"

Hadass frowned. "Yes, I'm fine. I was thinking."

"Of Anshel?"

She looked questioningly at her mother, seeing a slight smile on her face. "Yes Mother, I was, how could you tell?"

"Oh Hadass," Mrs. Vishkower reached out and took Hadass' hand in hers and patted it. "Sweetheart, you were smiling, you're always smiling when you think about him now."

"I do?" Hadass asked. Had she been smiling? If so, why.

Hadass' mother gave her a kiss on the cheek. "Yes you do. It makes me so happy."

"Happy? Why mother?"

"Hadass, you may not know it, but you've fallen for Anshel. I can tell, a mother  _can_  always tell," she gushed.

Hadass was flummoxed. She watched her mother leave the room daubing at her eyes.  _'She's being silly,'_  Hadass thought. She was not in love with Anshel.

She could not be – she loved Avigdor.

' _What was mother thinking?'_


	2. It's Today?

**CHAPTER TWO:**  It's Today?

"So Anshel, have you given any thought as to what to get Hadass…" Avigdor asked as they left the Vishkower residence.

"Hmm?" Yentl replied her head buried in a book she had brought along to discuss later with Rabbi Zalman.

"Anshel," Avigdor stopped, placing his hand on his friends' arm. "You need to get your head out of that book. It's your anniversary…"

Yentl's head popped up. "My..." she stopped thinking to the date. "Oh... all ready?" she muttered to herself. "I... I guess I forgot," she explained.

"You forgot? Anshel, how could you forget? I would never forget," he told him. "She was so beautiful, like an angel," he said softly. He shook his head.

"What should I get her?"

Avigdor ran his hand through his hair, "I'm not sure, maybe we'll think of something on the way. Something good," he said.

A year.

A whole year had passed since she – or rather Anshel had married Hadass.

And she had forgotten.

' _I wonder if I've missed her birthday,'_  she pondered.

This would never do.

What could she possibly get Hadass?

Avigdor was muttering to himself besides her, "No that won't do," she heard him say a few times.

Yentl was not well versed in these things. This was not something she ever discussed with her father, may he rest in peace.

A cooking pot perhaps?

No. Although practical, it probably would not be looked upon favorably.

What does she get  _her_ wife?

The thought of being married still boggled her mind. She never believed marriage to be in her future. She had always dreaded any conversations with her father when the word "Matchmaker" was involved.

Yet, she was married, to Hadass, the woman her best friend, the man she herself had feelings for, was in love with.

Yentl knew Avigdor still harbored feelings for Hadass and she could not blame him in the least.

She had to admit, Hadass could not have been a better spouse in her opinion. She looked after her... him… Anshel without complaint. Or at least none she had heard.

She was an excellent cook. She always made sure her clothes were cleaned and well mended.

She never bothered her was she was studying.

There were so many things Hadass did for her, or rather Anshel.

Yentl sighed.

Hadass did so much without expecting anything in return.

Yentl was disappointed in herself.

She knew she should be more aware of Hadass of all the things she did on a daily basis.

How she ran the household, Yentl knew how demanding it was, even if she herself was never very good at it in the past.

She thought she was a good "husband" to Hadass. She had not been demanding – she would not raise her voice at her nor did she say anything that might be hurtful.

She realize once they had gotten married that she would have to change the way she acted around her. She could no longer sit in the background afraid of her own shadow. She no longer feared that the Vishkower's would see through her disguise. They accepted her... Anshel into the family with open arms.

She could not be a "true" husband to Hadass in every sense of the word, but she tried her best to do right by her and only hoped Hadass did not think badly of her... or rather Anshel.

They were passing a shop when something caught her eye and she paused to look in the window.

Avigdor had continued walking before he noticed Anshel was no longer by his side. He turned around and saw him standing in front of the store he just passed.

"Anshel?"

Yentl turned her gaze from the window when Avigdor approached. "Do you think she'll like it?" she asked as she pointed.

Avigdor looked in the direction Anshel was indicating. He smiled. "Yes," he said softly. "I think she would." He never would have given it a second look. The fact he had passed it by the first time around proved it. ' _Trust Anshel to come up with_   _the perfect gift,'_  he thought.

Yentl beamed. She moved away from the display window and walked inside. The bell announced their presence to the shopkeeper.

The curtain parted, "Good morning gentlemen. How can I help you today?" the shopkeeper said.

"I… I would like to make a purchase," Yentl replied nervously.

"Of course. I take it you found something you liked?"

Yentl walked to the front window. "I would like to buy this please."

Mrs. Yaacob, the owner of the store smiled when she approached the window. "Ah, it is beautiful, isn't it? It's made of the finest material," she said as she reached for it. "Have a feel."

"It's so soft," Yentl whispered.

"It will last a lifetime, I guarantee it."

"Would you wrap it up for me? It's my anniversary…"

Mrs. Yaccob could not help but smile at the young man. "Mazoltov."

Yentl blushed. "Thank you."

"Follow me this way please."

They left the store shortly there after. Yentl tucked the package under her arm and continued to the Yeshiva with Avigdor.

"It is a good gift, isn't it?" Yentl had to ask.

"Yes Anshel, you have wonderful taste. I think Hadass will love it."

"Thank you Avigdor."

"Enough of this," He said gruffly. "We have to hurry, we're late."

"Of course."


	3. Breathtaking

**CHAPTER THREE:**  Breathtaking.

"Anshel, Avigdor, I did not think you were coming in," Reb Zalman said as they entered the study hall.

"It was my fault, I'm sorry," Yentl said.

"Anshel was buying a present for Hadass, it's their anniversary today," Avigdor added.

Reb Zalman's face lit up. "Ah... no wonder. At least you remembered," he shook his head ruefully. "I had completely forgotten. My wife did not say a word the entire day. It was not until the next day that my father-in-law asked me how my anniversary went. He must have seen the dismay on my face. He told me to go straight home and grovel... and never forget. And I never have," he concluded smiling.

Yentl breathed a sigh of relief. Now she didn't feel so bad knowing she wasn't the only one to have forgotten.

"Well, let's get back to the text we were studying yesterday," Reb Zalman said. "Anshel, I take it you brought your book with you?"

"Yes, yes I did."

"Good."

Yentl and Avigdor parted company when they left the Yeshiva for the day. Avigdor had told her that he had meeting with the local Matchmaker. That there was a possible match for him. He said he had obligations he still had to fulfill for his family, even if it meant not marrying Hadass.

"Good luck?" Yentl told him.

"I'll need it," he replied as he headed for his meeting.

Yentl walked the quiet streets alone. The walk would do her good. It would give her a chance to think.

She noticed there were a few shops still open, but not many.

She knew as soon as she walked through the town square she would be minutes away from the place she now called home.

She slowed down her pace.

She felt nervous.

She had never bought anyone a gift before.

She found her palms were damp and wiped them on her pants.

Would she hand the gift to Hadass as soon as she saw her and say, "Here."

Would, should she wait until they were alone?

No, her in-laws would probably want to see the gift.

Before supper or afterwards? Perhaps while they were in the sitting room having their evening tea?

Who knew there were so many decisions to make?

"Anshel..."

Yentl looked up.

"Anshel, where are you going?"

Yentl looked around she had walked past the house.

Hadass had stood on the steps outside, she had seen Anshel through the window and when he had not entered she went to look for him.

His head was down and she thought she heard him muttering to himself. He was preoccupied.

She had called his name to get his attention – she did not wish to disturb his thoughts. It seemed obvious to her that he had not noticed that he'd walked right past the house.

Yentl saw Hadass waiting by the steps, she quickly backtracked. "Hello," she said as she reached the house.

"Good evening Anshel."

They stood looking at each other, neither saying a word.

Yentl swallowed, her heart raced in her chest.

The light coming from the entryway shone on Hadass.

Yentl had seen her everyday for over a year, if she counted the time she had dined at the Vishkower's residence before Avigdor's betrothal had been broken.

She had seen Hadass when she woke from her sleep, when she had come from her ablutions and many other times.

She had seen many facets of Hadass' appearance.

She recognized that Hadass was pretty in an abstract way. She never gave it much thought one way or another.

Now as she struggled to breathe, her estimation had changed.

Hadass was not pretty.

She was breathtaking.

And her mind was coming to grips with that piece of information, looking at it from different angles, examining each facet and finding her assessment correct.

Hadass, her wife, was breathtaking.  _'I wonder if this is how Avigdor feels.'_  She thought briefly.

Hadass wondered why Anshel was staring at her so intently.

The look he gave her was unlike anything she ever noticed from him, it was almost unsettling.

In the back of her mind, a sense of familiarity hit her. She had see it before, the look elsewhere, she was sure of it, but, she could not remember where.

She automatically raised her hand to her hair, a nervous habit she had.

"No, don't you're perfect," Yentl whispered when it looked as if Hadass was going to rearrange her hair.

"Hadass... Anshel, come inside. Supper is getting cold."

"Yes Mother."

"Yes Mother Vishkower," Yentl replied.

She waited for Hadass to go inside first before walking up the stairs, closing the door behind her. She hung up her coat and proceeded into the dinning room.

"Hello Anshel... come in, come in," Reb Alter Vishkower said waving him inside.

Yentl nodded briefly, "Uh... good evening."

"Sit, sit. How were your studies?"

Yentl went to her place at the table and waited until Hadass draped the cloth napkin on her lap before replying. "Thank you," she said. "Oh, studies, they went well. Rabbi Zalman says within a year or two Avigdor and I will be able to teach…"

"That's wonderful Anshel," Reb Vishkower said as he banged on the table. "Esther, did you hear? Our son-in-law is going to teach in a year..."

"Or two and Avigdor as well," Yentl interjected.

"Oh Anshel, I'm so proud of you, aren't you Hadass?"

Hadass looked in his direction, she smiled at him. She had heard him mention Avigdor even if her parents had chosen to ignore the comment. "That's very good news Anshel."

"Thank you. And how was your day Father Vishkower?" she asked.

"Such a good boy, he comes home with splendid news and he asks me about  _my_  day," Reb Vishkower tells his wife.

Yentl noticed as supper was served that Hadass had made all of her favorite dishes. She could not remember a better meal.

The conversation wasn't very exciting she nodded and added a few comments here and there. All in all, it was a nice evening.

She got up and pulled out Hadass' chair for her when she got up to get dessert. She looked in her father-in-laws direction when she heard his voice: "Come along Esther, I'm sure Anshel and Hadass would like some time to themselves."

She quickly rushed over to her mother-in-law and pulled out her chair.

"Such lovely manners," she said as she patted Anshel on his cheek. "Such smooth skin," she muttered.

Yentl could not help but blush, "Thank you."

"Where are you going?" Hadass asked her parents as she came through the door with a tray in her hands. "Don't you want dessert?"

"You father and I are going upstairs, why don't you and Anshel go to the sitting room."

"Of course mother, if you're sure?"

"Of course we're sure."

"Good night Hadass," Reb Vishkower said as he accompanied his wife out of the room. "A learned scholar in the family, can you imagine?"

"I can't wait to tell Ruth, she'll be so jealous," Yentl heard them say as they left.

"Come along Anshel," Hadass said as she carried the tray out of the dinning room.

Grabbing the package, Yentl followed Hadass. She slid the partition open allowing Hadass to enter the sitting room.

When Hadass sat down Yentl decided it was time to give her the gift. "I... um, I got this for you," she said as she held out the brown paper wrapped package, "Happy anniversary Hadass."

"Oh Anshel, thank you," she said smiling. He had not forgotten. She had seen the package he carried with him, but when looked as if he was not going to give it to her she thought the worse. "I have something for you as well." She pulled out a small flat rectangular box and she had left in the sitting room earlier and handed it to him. "I hope you'll like it."

Yentl looked at it and wondered what it was. She looked at Hadass, "I'm sure I will thank you."

They both stared at the gifts, neither of them making any gesture to open them.


	4. Gift Exchange

**CHAPTER FOUR:**  The Exchange.

"This is silly. Why don't we open them at the same time," Yentl advised.

"All right," Hadass agreed.

Yentl decided she had better start, as soon as she began to until the string, Hadass also removed the bindings.

Yentl put the wrapping paper aside. The first thing she noticed was the felt covering on the case. She slowly flipped the cover open, she gasped.

Inside was a brand new fountain pen with extra nibs.

Hadass had stopped when she heard Anshel gasp. "Do you like it?" she asked hoping he had. She had gone out with her mother thinking of what he might want. It wasn't until they passed the apothecary when she noticed the pen set in the window. She knew right away she would get it for him.

Yentl carefully put the case down and quickly moved to Hadass and hugged her tightly. "It's perfect, I will always treasure it," she said with feeling.

Hadass was shocked.

Anshel had never attempted to touch her unless he absolutely had to. To feel his arms around her was… nice. Something she had not expected to feel.

"Thank you," she heard him whisper in her ear with a faint pressing of his lips on her cheek. "Thank you very much."

Hadass felt her eyes close and her heart beat wildly.

Yentl pulled back. Regardless of what had crossed her mind outside, she had no idea why she had embraced Hadass, let alone why she kissed her. She would put it down to the excitement of receiving the pen. She had no doubt she would think of Hadass whenever she used it.

"I should open your gift," Hadass said.

Yentl nodded. She bit her lip as she watched in anticipation.

"Anshel," Hadass exclaimed. "It's…" Hadass put her present down reverently and it was her turn to hug him. "I… I don't know what to say…"

"I know you have one," Yentl said as she returned the embrace.

Hadass leaned back and placed her hands on his face. "I will use this from now on, it's so beautiful."

"The tallits has the same design as the bag," Yentl explained.

Hadass caressed his face before picking up the bag once again. It was made out of white wool. She could see red, pink and yellow stripes interwoven. She let her fingers glide over the silk thread. It was decorated with a gold and brown floral pattern as well.

"It must have cost a fortune…"

Yentl boldly used her fingertips to raise Hadass' chin until their eyes met. "You're worth it. I know I haven't been the perfect husband," she placed her fingers on Hadass' lips when it looked as if she wanted to interrupt. "Shh… I know you still care for Avigdor, and I don't blame you. But I hope…"

' _What is it that you hope?'_  Yentl heard her inner voice say.  _'What has gotten into you? Why is it so important all of a sudden that she, what? Like you? That is what you want, for her to like you. You can't… it isn't right. You'll end up hurting her and yourself at the same time...'_

Hadass wondered why Anshel had stopped speaking. She could see a frown on his face. If she did not know better she would say he was having a silent conversation with himself.

"What is it that you hope for Anshel?" she asked.

"I'm not sure," she said with a slight grin.

And she was not.

Perhaps she was over thinking the situation.

She had grown to like Hadass over the year and if what had happened earlier in the evening when she got home was any indication, it was quite possible that she may like Hadass more than she realized.

Perhaps she  _had_  to think about this more.

"Well, when you  _do_  know,  _I_  hope you'll tell me."

"I will."

The chime from the clock startled them.

"Umm…"

"Yes," Hadass looked away momentarily. "Would you like some tea?"

Yentl smiled. Trust Hadass to make everything normal again. "Please." She waited until Hadass had poured herself a cup as well. "Happy anniversary Hadass," she said as she raised her cup.

Hadass smiled. "Happy anniversary Anshel."

The End.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **2ND AUTHOR'S NOTES:** Regard the wearing of a Tallits by a woman. Considering the time period the film takes place in, I wanted to make sure that it was okay or rather it was permissible for Hadass to wear it as it customarily worn by men.
> 
> So I did some research not a lot, I must admit. Here is what I found: Rabbis Yisreal Yaaqog Alghazi (1726-1802) and Yomtobi ben Yisreal Algzahi (1680-1761) purportedly held that the observance of this Mitzvah by Women was not only permitted but actually commendable, since such diligence amongst the non-obligated would inspire these women's male relatives to be even more diligent in their observance.
> 
> Although the usage of the word, purportedly is not exactly a stamp of approval, I did notice in the film when Yentl was at the synagogue she along with the other women were wearing shawls to cover their heads. I know with Yentl's love of knowledge she would have never permitted herself to give something to Hadass that she wasn't allowed to wear.
> 
> Yet she herself was breaking the Law, by wearing men's clothing, going to school, living as a man. The very situation must have been very hard on her in ways we were not given the opportunity to see.
> 
> I hope I have not offended anyone, in case this is incorrect. I had as much difficulty with Hadass' gift as Yentl did.


End file.
